


Boys Will Be Bugs

by Pxie_Sticks



Series: Songfics [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Backstory, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Improper Chest Binding (mentioned), Songfic, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 20:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pxie_Sticks/pseuds/Pxie_Sticks
Summary: Roman's childhood wasn't the best.





	Boys Will Be Bugs

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Boys Will Be Bugs by cavetown
> 
> Bolded is lyrics  
> Italics are flashbacks/memories

**I'm a dumb teen boy** ****  
**I eat sticks and rocks and mud** ****  
**I don't care about the government** **  
** **And I really need a hug**

**  
** _ I smiled at Logan, laughing. We were both running around in the forest behind my house, and had mud in our hair, teeth, and all over our clothes. My overalls were basically ruined at this point. He leaned down, grabbing more mud and splattering it on the pink patch sewn on the pocket. He always knew I hated pink. _

**  
** _ “Riley!! Look at you!! What have I told you about playing in the mud?!” My mother yelled when she saw me. _

****  
**I feel stupid (stupid)** ****  
**Ugly (ugly)** **  
** **Pretend it doesn't bother me**

**  
** _ I stared in the mirror, grimacing. It wasn’t the skirt itself that was bothering me too much, it was the fact that it was pink. I’d much rather have the red one I saw in the store, but mom says I look better in pink. _

_   
_ _ I don’t. It clashes with my hair. _

****  
**I'm not very strong but** **  
** **I'll fuck you up if you're mean to bugs**

**  
** I would protect Logan with my life. Hell, I would even protect Patton and Virgil, even though I didn’t know them as well. I still would to this day.

****  
**It's getting cold down here underneath the weather** ****  
**I skipped class to sit with you** **  
** **I really like your spotty sweater**

**  
** _ “Remy, I… I think I like you.” _

_   
_ _ “I’m gay, Riley.” _

_   
_ _ “Yeah… I know.” _

 

**If ladybugs are girls** ****  
**How do you make kids together?** ****  
**What's it like in a female world** **  
** **I bet it's just so much better**

**  
** I loved ladybugs, and I still do. I would sit with the other groups of girls and let them crawl up my arms.

  
But red wasn’t a feminine color… right? Why are they called “lady” bugs? ****  
**I just turned fourteen** **  
** **And I think this year I'm gonna be mean**

**  
** _ “But you can’t be a boy, Riley. Boys are rude and gross, and you’re not.” _

**  
** _ “Then I guess I’ll be rude and gross.” _

****  
**Don't mess with me, I'm a big boy now and I'm very scary** **  
** **I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate**

**  
** _ “Riley, stop! You’re making your mother upset!!” _

**  
** _ “Stop calling me Riley!!” _

 

That was the first time I was kicked out of the house. Definitely not the last, though.

****  
**Don't message me 'cause I won't reply, I wanna make you cry** ****  
**Ain't that how its s'posed to be? Though it isn't me** ****  
**Boys will be bugs right?** ****  
  


_ “Roman, please. You’re scaring me. Please tell me your safe.” _

 

_ “im fine, lo. leave me alone” _

**  
** He didn’t leave me alone.

****  
**I'm a dumb teen boy** ****  
**All I wanna do is quit** ****  
**My mum told me that she's worried** **  
** **And I couldn't give a shit**

**  
** _ I adjusted the bandages around my chest, wincing and trying to take a breath. I tossed on my shirt, smiling a little when I couldn’t see them as much. If I wore a jacket, it would look actually real. _

**  
** _ “I’m going out.” _

**  
** Logan instantly knew what I did. The instant we got to his house, he shoved me into the bathroom and tried to rip them off. I started crying.

****  
**I have friends who understand me** ****  
**Their names are spider, beetle, bee** ****  
**They don't say much but** **  
** **They have always listened to me**

**  
** Logan, Patton, and Virgil were always the quiet ones. They didn’t always understand me, but they would let me rant. I once tried to bind again, and this time, Virgil nearly slapped me.

****  
**The other boys at school** ****  
**Think it's cool to hate your parents** ****  
**But they're lying all the time** **  
** **The bugs advised that I should let 'em**

**  
** _ “You don’t have to act like other boys, Ri- Roman. Just be you.” _

****  
**And if you wanna cry** ****  
**Make sure that they never see it** ****  
**Or even better yet** **  
** **Block it out and never feel it**

**  
** I spent lots of time crying in the bathroom at school. I was too emotional for my own good. I ended up teaching myself to cry silently, and I still do.

****  
**I just turned fourteen** **  
** **And I think I know everything**

**  
** _ “This is the boys’ bathroom!!” _

**  
** _ “I am a boy.” _

****  
**Don't mess with me, I'm a big boy now and I'm very scary** **  
** **I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate**

**  
** _ “I’m not a girl, dad. Stop calling me Riley. My name is Roman-” _

**  
** First time I was slapped. Again, definitely not the last.

**  
** **Don't message me 'cause I won't reply, I wanna make you cry**

**  
** _ “Roman, what’s going on? What happened?” _

**  
** _ “...” _

**  
** _ “I need a place to stay.” _

****  
**Ain't that how it's s'posed to be? Though it isn't me** **  
** **Boys will be bugs right?**


End file.
